Revisions
Published Monday, 26 April 2010 by SteveCook in fantasy story short thief magic magician murder Kaliss thieves collective centaari centaur bansheeI've gone back and made significant revisions totalling 2000 words to both Chapter 8 and 11. Here is the text in full, in context. Chapter 8 deals with Kaliss' back story, while the edit to Chapter 11 expands on his relationship with Sayela. I think this'll be the last flashback I can fit in between the time he meets her in the sewer and the high points of their relationship. I understand that, it makes sense to me :D
Ryn’s patience was apparently endless, and Kaliss continued to ask questions until the sun had set. Finally, the figures in the warehouse, apparently working on unspoken signals, all set their tools aside and began to retreat towards the walls where simple hammocks were strung up. Ryn directed the thief back to the corner where his mattress lay.
“You will sleep shortly, as will we all. We will leave in about nine of your hours, and the journey will be long. But first, I have answered many of your questions; our investigations into you have revealed little, and as well as being your guardian for the journey, I have been tasked with adding to those investigations.”
Kaliss sat down on the edge of his mattress and began to tug his boots off. “What do you want to know? I mean, there’s not much to tell.”“You will sleep shortly, as will we all. We will leave in about nine of your hours, and the journey will be long. But first, I have answered many of your questions; our investigations into you have revealed little, and as well as being your guardian for the journey, I have been tasked with adding to those investigations.”
Ryn sat, cross-legged, beside him. “Start at the beginning and end at the end. We know that you were a foundling; you grew up in monastery to Tala, then you were moved to the abbey. Why were you moved?”
Kaliss sighed. Talking about this was the last thing he wanted to do, but there was a lot he would do for money.
“The monks were hard. Prayers for two hours before we broke our fast; silence throughout the day; prayers instead of lunch, then before supper. They were a martial order, though, so I guess I have them to thank for my fitness, and what I know about unarmed fighting.” He lay back, staring at the darkening ceiling. “I was growing, and they were all adults, unsuited to be parents; they didn’t feed me enough, and I began to see to it that I had enough; I stole. I got caught, more often than not, and then less and less. Finally, despite going as far as to post a guard on my room and the kitchen, I was able to… liberate a large quantity of food that had been destined for the Abbot; bastard always ate better than us.” His eyes turned distant as Kaliss remembered things he thought long forgotten.
“They punished me; at eight years old, they meted out the same punishment to me that they would to any of their number. They put me in a bag and hung it from a post in the courtyard with three others. Then they used the bags for practice. Kicks and punches. I lost consciousness fairly early on.”
He sat up, looking at the Sylva, but Ryn’s face was impassive, taking it all in. He carried on talking. “The next day, I was recovering in bed when Abbess Rycharde came to the monastery. She found me, enquired as to my circumstances and took me back with her.” He grinned, a slightly sickly expression. “I later found out that the Abbot at the monastery was executed; he’d taken the strictures of his order a little too far in the name of the Goddess, and gotten involved in things no holy man should ever consider, all because he thought Tala was whispering in his ear. I was just one example, I suppose.”
He fell silent, and the moment stretched. Finally, Ryn nodded. “And then?” he asked.
“Not much to tell,” the thief said. “I lived at the Abbey for another six years; life was better there, although the training continued. I carried on thieving, though it took them longer to work it out. I suppose…” he sighed, then shook his head. “I guess I just liked doing it. Still do. That rush, taking something, knowing you might be caught. It thrills me. Finally I got noticed, but before they could do anything, I ran. I was fourteen.”
He remembered in vivid flashes the days, weeks and months that followed; wandering through the harsh countryside the Abbey had nestled in; stealing from a farmhouse to survive, fleeing the scene as an angry man chased him; finally being found by a group of bandits who took him in when he bested their youngest in a duel.
“I fell in with some bad people, though I wasn’t much better; I suppose you could say they completed my education, or nearly. We stole and terrorised for ten years. Those were good times. Then, the King decided that the area we were in was unlawful, and finally sent the army in.”
He chuckled. “We got our asses kicked so bad, it was amazing any of us survived. The soldiers all had magic, and wanted to make an example of us. It was amazingly painful, but not a mark on us, at least most of us. I managed to get away; I don’t even remember how. It was a blur.”
Kaliss rocked slightly, clutching his bare feet. “I remember thinking, how great it would be to have that sort of power. The bandits were mostly dead or scattered, and there was nothing to keep me there. I guess, looking back, I was incredibly lucky. Anyway, I made my way to Theria to try and join up, and-“
“We know about it from then on, Kaliss. Thank you.” Ryn stood and began to walk away, but stopped. Without turning, he said “You should sleep. You’ll need it. You may be no stranger to travelling, but this will be hard.”
*
*
*
“The city of Theria serves as more than just the kingdom’s capital,” the old thief lectured. “A lot of manufacturing is organised from here, it’s a farming centre for the area and, most importantly, it’s the hub of this country’s Black Market.”
Kaliss was sat at the back of a dry sewer culvert, one of many that the Thieves Collective had reclaimed for living space. Sayela nestled at his side, her head on the shoulder of his leather jacket. Together, they watched the children receiving their lesson from the Master Thief, too old now to ply his trade. It was not uncommon for children, alone on the street for whatever reason, to end up here as part of the Collective. They were clothed, educated and trained for a variety of jobs; thieves needed contacts in other places, and children who were too heavy-footed for burglary, or not nimble enough for pickpocketing, may find themselves learning to bake, sew or farm.
The lesson droned on, some of the children listening with rapt expressions while others were obviously bored. Sayela whispered in Kaliss’ ear, something inaudible, and he turned to her.
“Huh?”
Some of the children turned to look at the disturbance, but the old Master ploughed straight on. Sayela rolled her eyes and grabbed Kaliss by the arm, dragging him out of the chamber and into the main sewers.
“I said, wanna have some fun? You going deaf or something, Kal?”
He smiled, slightly embarrassed. “No, it was the dulcet tones of Master Cromby’s voice; he weaved a rich tapestry of life in this city, and I was enthralled.”
She snorted. “More like bored to death by his corpse voice.” They laughed, and Kaliss felt a lightness in his heart that he had not experienced before with any woman.
“Come on, Kal,” she said, tugging at his arm, “it’s market day! Let’s go do what we do best!”
Kaliss followed Sayela through the sewer tunnels; she wore a simple white dress that billowed when she ran, revealing her shapely legs. Her flaming hair streamed out behind her, curls bouncing almost as if they shared the joy that she felt. He knew that this was when she felt most alive, when her body was honed to its sharpest and every sense, every pore, was tuned in to the world. They often made love immediately after pulling a job, the experience all the more intense for it.
Light and sound erupted simultaneously as they pushed aside the heavy iron sewer cover and clambered quickly out. Instantly, both were alert; was there any danger? No. Had anyone seen them come out into this little-used back alley? No. Still on guard, Sayela looked around, her eyes wide, as Kaliss moved the heavy cover back into place. As it clanged down, the man straightened and held his hand out to Sayela. Grinning, she took it, and as naturally as any other couple, they wandered into the market.
Each was a consummate actor; their eyes roamed over the crowd, searching for a mark while appearing to be just another young couple, secure in their love, wandering the market. A squeeze at his hand suggested that Sayela had found one. He let his eyes casually laze over to look in the same direction as her, seeing a fat merchant walking slowly between stalls. He seemed to be nervous, and in the short time they watched him he touched the right-hand pocket of his fancy trousers three times. Kaliss looked at Sayela, who winked at him, and adjusted her dress. Then she darted away into the press of people.
Kaliss looked quickly around and spotted something he could use; a sack, empty, apparently discarded in a corner. He grabbed it and pulled off his jacket, then the white cotton shirt underneath it. He stuffed both into the bag, then hauled it up onto his shoulders. Bowing slightly, as if under a great weight, he looked back over at the merchant.
Out of the crowd, walking directly towards the mark, came Sayela. Her hips swayed, the dress somehow suggesting the curves of her body without revealing them. The neckline was now positively scandalous, though, and as she breathed the cleavage heaved. She smiled, and it was a promise. The mark had stopped, apparently unsure of what to do. Draping her arms over the merchant’s shoulders, she brought her mouth to his ear and whispered something; the slight flick of her hands was Kaliss’ cue.
Head down, he jogged in their direction, then collided with them. The merchant sprawled in the dirt, Sayela to one side of him, and Kaliss rolling away from them. From his prone position, the merchant shouted something incoherent, followed by “What the hell d’you think you’re doing, you gutter-crawling cur!” His face flushed around his flat, vein-lined nose, and now that they were closer, little details came to the fore, like his pock-marked cheeks, his bristly grey moustache and long brown hair slightly askew. Kaliss was on his feet in an instant, picking his bag up, all the while bowing. “A thousand apologies, oh gracious one, a thousand apologies.” Before anything else could be shouted at him, Kaliss was off through the crowd. Hardly anyone had taken notice, so busy was it.
The merchant looked around; where was the lovely young slip of a girl who had been touting for business a moment ago? No doubt attracted by his rakish good looks and obvious wealth. But there was no-one; the crowd had swallowed her, and it wasn’t until he had dragged himself upright and walked on that he realised what had happened.
From around the corner of the alleyway they had started in, Kaliss and Sayela watched, barely able to contain childish glee, as the mark checked his pocket, then dug into it, horror growing in his face; he searched his other pockets, then started to whip his head round, trying in vain to find the delivery boy or the girl, but failing on both counts.
Turning away from the comical scene, Kaliss tossed the merchant’s purse to Sayela and then started to empty his clothing out of the sack. “What’d we get, Sayela?”
She untied the knot on the simple purse and emptied it into her hand. “Ah, let’s see; two silver, a copper, a couple of stones; one looks like it might be diamond, but it could just as easily be quartz; oh, my…” her voice trailed off, and Kaliss looked round. In her hand she was holding a sapphire the size of a duck’s egg. He breathed out slowly, then gently took it from her. She looked curiously at him.
“Best not to wave it around, my darling,” he chided gently.
She smiled then, and it was as if the sun had come into the alleyway with them. Draping her arms around him as she had the merchant, he became aware suddenly that they were alone and he was half-naked. He grinned and held up his shirt.
“Oh, you won’t be needing that,” she murmured, as she began to explore his muscles with her fingertips. “You won’t be needing that at all.”
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